My friend Kendra and I started a bible study together a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s not so much we are doing the bible study together as we are doing life together. We meet at my house, talk about our weekly chapter in “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” and we talk about life. While the book is good, doing life together with an accountability partner is better. The other day we were talking about “The Three Deadly D’s of Destruction”, distraction, discouragement and doubt and how Satan uses those things to bring us down.
I shared with Kendra how I was having a hard time with my up coming birthday. It’s a big one. Fifty. There, I said it (don’t they say that admitting the problem is the first step to recovery????). Fifty just kind of snuck up on me. I mean seriously, where did all those years go? And truth is, I LOVE my life, just where I am. Well, not entirely true, I might love it more if I were sitting at a little bistro table somewhere on the Amalfi coast, wearing a floppy sun hat, large sun glasses, cute little dress and some strappy designer shoes. Oh and of course an over-sized bag to match. Ok, sorry, I might have gotten a little distracted--- so no where else I’d rather be and certainly no one else I’d rather be, this is true. So what makes facing the number 50 so difficult? At first I thought it was a vanity problem. I thought it was just that I wanted the energy and the look I had in my thirties. Then I took a long hard look in the mirror, and honestly, I kind of like what I saw. Oh sure, there are a few more wrinkles and what I like to refer to as “large freckles” but I believe that behind that façade is a little more wisdom and a little more character than I had in my thirties. I know that God is developing that with time and with years, and hopefully He’s still working on it and this is not all the wisdom I get!. As Kendra and I were talking about the deadly d’s, I was reminded how Satan would love to use something like a number (50) to distract me. To discourage me. And to bring doubt about where I am and who I am. So no more! I say let’s celebrate (as long as I’m home in bed by 9)! Bring it on! The big 5-0. Whoo hoo! Now, let’s don’t get crazy. I don’t want a big party (too tiring) or surprises (bad for the ole heart) or most definitely I don't want it to be like when I turned 40 and my "hilarious" neighbors showed up at my door dressed like the grim reaper AND, I woke the next morning to find my yard decorated with 40 crows. Interesting..... what’s funny at 40 doesn’t seem so funny at 50. Anyway, I’ve decided to embrace this new era of life! Live it fully, just as I have the last 49 years. I’ve also decided to come up with a list of exciting things that I think happen ONLY when you turn 50. So here goes.
LIST OF EXCITING THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU TURN 50
- Friends say I can sign up for AARP. Hmmm, encouraging.
- My doctor told me I can get a discount at Captain D’s. Not sure how that is going to work with the “lowering of my cholesterol” he told me to do.
- Apparently there is also a discount on coffee at several establishments. Bad news - I don’t drink coffee. Good news - they would probably card me when I asked for the “senior” discount. I’m liking it.
- At 49 you are the oldest person in the middle age group. At 50 you are the youngest person in the older age group.
- I can wear BIG earrings, bright lipstick and jeggings. At 50, people will just say, “bless her heart, she’s old and doesn’t know any better.” Truth is, I know better, I just don’t care what people say.
- I can talk as loud as I want, laugh at my own jokes (um, ok I’ve been doing that one for a while), embarrass my kids (maybe I’ve been doing that one for a while too), sing the wrong words to songs, and use hashtags on Facebook. #mykidshatewhenidothat
Well, I’m seeing that this list can just go on and on and on! Look at that, I’m already loving being 50 and I’m still just 49. Who knew? But seriously friends, maybe the real reason I was having a problem with turning 50 is because I’ve loved the last 49 years (Well, except for those few year in the early 80’s. Let's not go there.). When I mentioned this to Kendra she looked at me puzzled and said something to the effect of “If the last 49 years have been great why would you think God would stop blessing you now?” Hmmm, AND that my friends is why you have an accountability partner. Someone who can see the truth and speak it to you when you can’t see it. Maybe I couldn’t see because of my distraction, my discouragement and mostly my doubt. Truth is, God doesn’t look at me and see a number, a wrinkle, a little flab or a foggy memory. He sees a heart. And at (almost) 50, I know my heart is in the right place. It’s a heart hungry for Him and His wisdom. It’s a heart with miles and experience on it that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s a heart that’s been bruised, torn and broken over the years. But it’s also one that’s been patched by the greatest healer of all, and it makes quite a beautiful tapestry. So I say --- bring on Saturday. Because life is good, yes life is indeed good, even at 50.
