It’s so cliché but
time really does go by way to fast.
Especially when you have kids.
Yesterday I had a sweet, little baby girl who held my hand when we
walked together, thought her daddy was the ONLY man she would ever love and one
day marry, and believed that I could fix everything for her. That was yesterday. Today I have a 17 year old, and while we do
spend lots of time walking, shopping and going places together she has given up
the hand holding. She still loves her
daddy more than any man right now but knows that one day God will place in her
life another man to love too. And sadly,
she has learned that I’m just a mom, not super-woman. I can band-aid a boo boo and I can duct tape
the hem of her pants if needed, but she knows that even I have limits to what I
can fix for her and that some things she has to fix for herself. Yesterday I pushed her on the swings, today
we drive to college pre-view days. Time
flies.
But with all the
changes in growing up a daughter, nothing, nothing starts raising the hair on
the back of your neck like when she begins dating. When my kids were born I began praying for
the people they would date and the people they would end up choosing to marry
and spend their lives with. I’ve prayed
for 17 years for the faceless boys that would knock on my door to take my
daughter on a date. I’ve prayed for
their parents too. I’ve actually been
pleasantly surprised to see the face of some of these boys I’ve been praying
for. Proof that God hears our prayers. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know at some time
there MAY be a young man show up that surprises me, one that makes me think,
“Seriously God?” but for now, Mike and I approve of the record. So when I think about this there are some
things I realize that are important to me as Abbie’s mom that these boys should
know. And in case you have a boy that
wants to date my daughter, or you happen to be a boy that wants to date my
daughter, these are some things you need to know about me and about dating her.
Before you date her, you’ll need to
know a little bit about me… and her Dad!
If you want to date my daughter, I will try to figure out
what kind of boy you are before you spend time with her. I will ask you a
lot of questions and make sure you know how special my daughter is. When
you get to know her, you’ll get to know me too (isn't that great!). I will creep up on and stalk your facebook, twitter, instagram and any
other form of communication in order to see how you talk to other people and
what kind of friends you hang out with.
I don’t call it being nosy, I call it being a mom. As for her dad, he thinks she hung the
moon. Nuff said.
Manners are manly
I know you have been taught them, so use your manners. Not just to impress me, but when you are with
her also. If you don’t have or use
manners you are not the one I’ve been praying for and obviously not God sent. If you want to spend time with my daughter I
will insist that you treat her like a lady and respect her the way you do your
own mother. So open the door for her, look me in the eye when you talk to
me and shake her daddy’s hand. I
shouldn’t even have to say this one BUT if your come to pick up my daughter and
your pants are hanging below your underwear I am going to assume you have some
sort of parasite and have lost a lot of weight.
In which case I will offer you a belt, some duct tape (that I will personally
adhere to your pants and underwear myself) or I will ask that you go home and
come back when your weight has increased enough to hold up your britches. Never, ever come to my house and wait in the
car for my daughter. I want to see your
face.
God
and school come first
If she says she can’t go with you because she is going to
church – then she is going to church, meet her there. If her grades drop when she is dating you,
you will be dropped.
The
Last Words
If she chooses to spend her time with you, her dad and I
expect you to protect her and keep her safe, just as if she were your best
friend, your sister or your mother.
Never put her in a situation where she is threatened or feels the need
to call me (she knows she can, and that would not prove good for you).
For 17 years we have instilled values into our
daughter. As she has grown up, she has
added to those her own set of values.
Respect those. That is not
optional. She is a wonderful, beautiful,
loving, Godly creature who means the world to us. You are a blessed young man if she chooses to
share her time with you. Respect
that. And while you are at it….. get her
home on time. This looks like the beginning of a
beautiful relationship – you, her and me.
Signed,
Her mom
